Things I Have Learned at the Gym

I've had my wonderful gym membership for 6 months now (it's kind of my second love), and there are a few things that I've learned in this time.

1. The vast majority of women that go to gyms have fake boobs. I don't. In fact, one might argue that I don't even possess the real thing. I'm pretty sure someone is going to find out soon and I'll be kicked out.

2. I am never, ever going to buy my middle/high school child a gym membership. Last time I checked, they went to a school where they can work out.

3. People are addicted to their cell phones. For reals. Walking on a treadmill? Must talk on the phone. Lifting? Text someone in between sets. Working out getting in the way of your social life? Just sit on a couch and chat for the ENTIRE time I am working out.

4. People attend spinning classes because it's cool. Seriously. There is a really good instructor on Wednesdays and the class is always completely full. However, I noticed today that out of everyone in my line of vision, about 80% hadn't broken a sweat 45 minutes into the hour long workout. Is the Wednesday spin class the new Friday night football game? You go because it's cool but you have no idea what's going on?

5. Women, especially the ones with a lot to love, are obsessed with walking around naked. Who needs clothes? Especially if I'm doing something that clearly needs to be done without clothes--like blow drying my hair or doing my make up.

6. Even adults who are doing well enough financially that they can afford a gym membership still steal things. Like, for example, my water bottle that was covered in sweat from my workout and my equally nasty headphones.